Mymother我的母亲
WhenIsatatthedesk,tryingtowritetheessay,Ifoundithardtosetpentopaper.StaringatthetopicIdeliberatelychoseformyself"mymother",Ifeltthememoryof20yearswithmymothersuddenlyturnedintoahaze,blurringmyeyestodiscernthepast,withnothingtowering,nothingflaring,nothingimpressiveorspecialenoughasalandmark.Thehazegraduallyclearedaway,revealingtheimageofanamicablewoman.Irecalledalinefromthefamousmovie"SleeplessinSeattle".TheradiocolumnhostessaskedSam,"What'ssospecialaboutyourwife?"Heanswered,"That'smillionsofsmallthings."Right,trivialandcommonplace,likeobscurebeans,yetwovenintothemostspectacularnecklacebythepoweroflove.Mymotherisordinary,butinmyeyessheisspecial.
Mymothergavebirthtomewithexceptionallydifficultlabor.Fatherreceivedanemergencynoticeandwasfacedwithachoicebetweentheadultandtheinfant.Ofcourse,theadult.SomycomingintothisworldwasanunexpectedfortuneatthepriceofMother'spainfulinsistence.Thusmy20yearsbeganlikethismymotherexertedeveryefforttogivemelove,butIreturnedherwithadeepscarthatwastostaywithherallthroughmygrowth.
MymotherisaseniorhighschoolEnglishteacher.Understandably,shewantedherdaughtertopickupEnglishearlytogiveheranedgetolaterstudy,whichIdidnotunderstandattheageofeight.IwassoobsessedwithfunandgamesthatIhatedtostaypeacefullywithallthosestrangephoneticsymbolsandoddwords.IwonderedwhatpleasureMotherseemedtohavefoundinteachingmeA,B,C.Wasn'tteachingatschooltiresomeenoughforher?Iwentonstrike,refusingtospellasinglewordnomatterhowtenderorsevereMothertriedtobewithme.Forthefirsttimeinmylife,Motherbeatme,imprintingonmymind.Thephysicalpainwasgonelong,longago.ButIhavefinallycometounderstandhowitpainedmymothertobeatmeformyobstinacyanddisobedience,andIacheatherpain.
Mothernevergaveupevokinginmeaninterestinknowledge.Sheplacedthemostemphasisonmyeducationandtookthemostpleasureinmygradualformationofself-disciplineinpreparingmyselfforfuturedevelopment.Thankstohereffortandinfluence,Ihavebeendoingwell,notonlyinEnglish,butalsoinmypositiveattitudesandconvictiontowardslife.
NowIamsogratefultomymotherforeverythingshehastaughtme,butatthattimeitwasfarbeyondmycomprehension.Asalittlegirl,Ithoughtofmymotherasmeticulousandmyfatherasabestplaymate.IstillrememberIwroteinmyelementaryschoolacompositiondedicatedtomyfatherabouthowhecaredforme.NaturallyMotherfeltshewasignored,soIwroteanotheroneforMother,intendingtotellhershewassogoodateacherthatshesometimeshadonlystudentsonmindandneglectedherdaughter.Unexpectedly,Motherwasgloomedandhereyeswentwet.Iamsosorrynowforthataffectedcomposition.IamMother'sdaughter,andIamMother'sstudent.IcouldneverbeneglectedbyMother,becauseIamtheforeverscaronherbody,theforeverpainonhermind,yettheforeverblissinherlife.
IdidnotwritemuchinthepastaboutMother'sloveforme.Today,thisessayisforher,andforheronly.Iwishtoletherknowmyregretandgratitude.Iwishshecouldhear,"Iloveyou,Mother."