Inthisfunny,casualtalkfromTEDx,writerJennaMcCarthysharessurprisingresearchonhowmarriages(especiallyhappymarriages)reallywork.Inmyopinion,marriageismorethanjustaringonyourfinger,it’sabondbetweentwopeoplethatshouldgrowovertimeandaddvaluetoyourlife.
IsmarriageindispensabletopersonsoftherightageAfterwatchingthespeech,myanswerisabsolutelyYES.Responsibilitiesalwayscomeswithrightsduringmarriageinwhich,Ithink,thebenefitplayadominantrole.Marriageisanintimateandenduringrelationshipthatgrowsovertimeandmakesyouabetterperson.Also,marriageislinkedtohealthandeconomicbenefits.Accordingtothevideo,marriedindividualstendtohavebetterphysicalhealth,psychologicalwell-being,andalowermortalityrisk.Financially,marriedmentendtoearnmore,andmarriedwomenarelesslikelytofallintopoverty.Marriageisalsolinkedtogreaterwealthaccumulation.
Marriageisthejoiningoftwopeopleinabondthatputativelylastsuntildeath,butinpracticeisincreasinglycutshortbydivorce.wemaywanderhowtomaintainahappymarriageThespeechgivensomeanswerstosomedegree.Fistofall,youshouldclearwhymarriagematterstoyouandwhyyouarewilingtospendtherestofyourlifemakingtherelationshipapriority.What’more,thecentralpointofthesuggestionsgivenbyJennaMcCarthy,eg.keepingyourselfmoreattractiveandthinnerthanyourhusband,focusingonthepositives/praise-worthymoments,ischerish,givingandrespect.Also,divorceiscontagiouscontagious.Sowehavetobeintentionaltoplaceourselvesinthecompanyofthosewhoarestrivingtomakemarriagebetter.
Buildingastrongandintimatemarriagestartsfromwithinyourself,andthenbecomesabondbetweenyouandyourpartnerthatlastsalifetime.Toconclude,Iagreehighlywiththespeaker’sviewpoint:whetheryou'reinitoryou'researchingforit,marriageisaninstitutionworthpursuingandprotecting.
ThereisaheateddiscussionthesedayssinceChineseon-campusstudentsarelegallyallowedtogetmarriedbeforetheycompletetheircourses.Somepeopleapplaudthisnewdevelopmentwhileothershaveexpressedtheirconcernaboutthis.
Ontheonehand,collegestudentswillinevitablyhavelesstimeandenergyfortheiracademiclifebecausemarriedstudentshavemorerealisticproblemstodealwiththanthoseunmarriedones.Ontheotherhand,anumberofstudentsdohaveadesireforanidealmarriage.Theyareoldenoughtotaketheresponsibilityandiftheyhandleitwell,marriagecanbringthemhappinessandasenseofsecurity.
Inmyopinion,itisunnecessarytoforbidon-campusstudentstogetmarried;however,itshouldn'tbeadvocatedorencouraged,either.Thereasonisthat,foron-campusstudents,theirmaintaskistoacquireknowledge.Iftheygetmarried,thefamilychoresmightdistractthemfromstudying,thustheymaynotgraduatefavorablyormaynotbecapableoffutureworks.Ibelievealmostallon-campusstudentswoulddealwiththequestionreasonably.
Differentpeoplehavevariousviewpointstowardmarriagecausetheyhavedifferentrolesandstands.QianZhongshu,aneminentwriterwhoprefaceshisbookASurroundedCitywith‘Marriageisasurroundedcitywhichpeopleencircledwanttofleefromwhilethosewhostandoutthecityareeagertostepinto’.However,JaneAustenstartedherbookPrideandPrejudicewith‘Itisatruthuniversally
acknowledgedthatasinglemaninpossessionofagoodfortunemustbeinwantofawife’.
Inmypointofview,marriageisawarmharbourinwhichwecanseekshelter,itisalsoadestinationofourlifevoyageafterweleaveparents’homeorwearenolongerundertheprotectionofourparents.
Sowemustchoosemarriagecautiouslyandthentryourbesttomakeaperfectplacewherewecanlivehappilywithanotherperson.However,wecan’tmanageitonourownwithoutcooperatingwithhim.Inotherwords,choosingamarriagemeanschoosingapersontolivewith.Inconsequence,weshouldchoosethehusbandcautiously.
Asforme,first,myhusbandmustshowhisparentsfilialobedience.Parentsarethosewholoveusbest.HowdareweexpecthelovesusifapersoneventreatshisparentsillIbelievethereisloveexistingbetweenmanandwoman,whileIbelieveinthe
emotionwhichcanbedevelopedafterlivingtogetheralongtimeinmarriage.Amancanfallinlovewithhiswifemomentarily,butonlywhenheregardshiswifeasarealfamilymembercanhislovelastslonger.Seldomamancanendurethemarriagewithawomanwhenheisnotloveheranymoreorevenhateher.However,thereisenoughspaceformanoeuversifamantreathiswifeasanindispensablefamilymember.Second,ahusbandshouldhavestrongresponsibilities.Amanwithstrong
responsibilitiesisreliable.Ononehand,hewillworkhardtomakeushappy.Ontheotherhand,hemaydonotanythingthatwillhurthiswife.Maybe,mostofthemenarefondofthenewandtiredoftheold,butamanwhohasstrongresponsibilitieswillmakehismindratherhisemotioncontrolhisbehaviour.
Lastbutnotleast,ahusbandshouldhavesimilaroutlookonlifeandvaluewithhiswife.Becauseitisahorriblethingtoliveanentirelifewithapersonwhomwehavenothingtotalkwith.
NowlettalkabouttheprotagnistsintheNettle.Totellthetruth,Idon’tlikethewomaninit.Idon’tblameherforleavingapersonwhomshedoesn’twanttolivewith.Idoblameherforleavingherfamily.Shejustmovesoutandalmostkeepsnoconnectionwithherhusband.Theycangettogethertocopewiththeir
marriage.Thoughtheirmarriageistoofargone,theycanstillbegoodfriends.AndalsoIhatethatshehopeanaffairwithMike.MuchasshelovesMike,sheshouldn’tbreakawholefamilyatanotherpoorwoman’scost.ShecantakeMikeasaclosefriendorabrotherwhomcanexchangelifeandworkexperience.
Fortunately,theydon’tlosetheirmindanddosomethingthatwillhurtothers.Ofcourseitisapitythattheydon’tmeeteachotheranymore.
On-campusMarriage
ThereisaheateddiscussionthesedayssinceChineseon-campusstudentsarelegallyallowedtogetmarriedbeforetheycompletetheircourses.Somepeopleapplaudthisnewdevelopmentwhileothershaveexpressedtheirconcernaboutthis.
Ontheonehand,collegestudentswillinevitablyhavelesstimeandenergyfortheiracademiclifebecausemarriedstudentshavemorerealisticproblemstodealwiththanthoseunmarriedones.Ontheotherhand,anumberofstudentsdohaveadesireforanidealmarriage.Theyareoldenoughtotaketheresponsibilityandiftheyhandleitwell,marriagecanbringthemhappinessandasenseofsecurity.
Inmyopinion,itisunnecessarytoforbidon-campusstudentstogetmarried;however,itshouldn'tbeadvocatedorencouraged,either.Thereasonisthat,foron-campusstudents,theirmaintaskistoacquireknowledge.Iftheygetmarried,thefamilychoresmightdistractthemfromstudying,thustheymaynotgraduatefavorablyormaynotbecapableoffutureworks.Ibelievealmostallon-campusstudentswoulddealwiththequestionreasonably.(180words)
Nowadays，whenacouplegetmarried,thefirsttheydoistogetenoughmoneytobuyahouse.InChina,itseemsthatmarriagemeanshavingahouse,itisreportedthatanewlymarriedcouplegotdivorcedbecausetheirparentsdidn’tfigureoutthelegalnameofthehouse.Doesmarriagemustpluswithhouse,Idon’tthinkso.
现在，当一对情侣结婚，他们第一件事就是凑够钱去买房子。在中国，婚姻似乎意味着房子，据报道，一对新婚夫妇离婚，原因在于他们的父母弄不清谁是房子的`合法人。婚姻必须加上房子吗？我不这样认为。
Itiscommonthatwhenpeoplegetmarriedthattheymustendowwithahouse,itisbecausehousebringsthecouplethesenseofsecure.Havingahousemeanstheyaresettled,eventheyarefiredfromthework,theydon’thavetoworryaboutwheretolive.Peopleowntheirsenseofsecuretothehouse.Marriagebringssenseofsecure,too,sopeoplethinkahouseisamust.
当人们结婚，他们必须要有房子，这是很正常的，这因为房子给夫妇带来安全感。有房子意味着他们安定，即使工作上被开除，也不用担心住哪里。人们有他们的安全感归因于房子。婚姻也带来安全感，所以人们觉得房子是必须的。
Weseethetruethattodaypeopleendowthehousewithtoomuchemotion.Sometimetheyevenmarryforthehouse,thevalueoftrueloveisbeingdistorted,peoplenomoreputtheloveinthefirstplace,theyconsiderthehousethemostimportantthing.Soiftherearetwoguyschasingforagirl,thereisnodoubtthattheguywhoownsahousewins.Whataterriblething.
我们要看到这样的事实，今天人们赋予房子太多的情感。有时候他们甚至为房子而结婚，真爱的价值被扭曲，人们不再把爱放在第一位上，他们把房子看成最重要的东西。所以如果两个男孩追一个女孩，毫无疑问，有房子的那个男生赢了。这是多么可怕的事情埃
Onmyopinion,trueloveisnothingwiththehouse,marriageisonthebasisoflove,houseisnotamustforthemarriage.
在我看来，真爱跟房子没有关系，婚姻是在爱的基础上，房子不是婚姻的必需品。